L-Inv #2

Alright, so…there are two types of people in this world. Those that know what the difference is between a latte and a cappuccino, and those who do not. What happens many a shift at my place of employment (the coffee cart in the Morgan Library) is that a customer will order a cappuccino, and then they will complain that the drink they have received does not have enough steamed milk in it. To clarify once and for all, a latte has a considerably larger amount of steamed milk than a cappuccino; additionally, a cappuccino has an extra shot of espresso that a latte does not have. The reason why I bring this up is that the clarification between these two drinks and the need to repeat this drink distinction to customers, are both routine job responsibilities that everyone who works at the coffee cart is aware of.

Okay, let me get off of my barista snob box and lay out what a typical barista-customer conversation looks like:
B: “Hey what’s up?”
C: “Nothing much…um…can I get a large white mocha, with no foam, and whip cream?”
B: “Yeah sure.” (Internal voice: Okay, write “WM” for white mocha, “F” for flat, and “W” for whip on the cup, then put three pumps of white mocha in the cup and place it on the bar)
C: “Can I also have a bagel with cream cheese?”
B: “Yeah, sure, would you like plain or strawberry?”
C: “Plain.”
B: “Would you like one or two.”
C: “One.”

Phrases like “pot’s out” is used quite often at work; it just means that one of the coffee pots has dispensed its final spit of coffee and that the dead pot needs to be exchanged for a full pot. “I’m going on a run” means that some lucky person gets to push a cart across the plaza to the student center in order to re-fill coffee and get other stuff that the cart may need. “Wet or dry?” is a question that refers to cappuccinos again; a wet cappuccino has more steamed milk than a dry cappuccino (but not as much as a latte). “Can I get ____?” is a question the cashier often asks one of the other employees who are working, so that the cashier herself does not have to walk over to the fridge in order to get OJ, or cream cheese, or whatever the customer has ordered. “The binder” is the book that contains all inside jokes/ pleas for stuff like an extra stool to be bought so that all workers who are clocked in at one time can have a place to sit, or perhaps a bright pink sharpie which could be used to inscribe drink orders on cups.

Besides these basic terms, the name of the cart “Cram a Latte” takes on many different meanings if you work there. As an employee, you often have to “cram” for a test in between making drinks (which are often “lattes”) or operating the cash register. If there is nothing to do, employees can just make a latte and chill, then you guessed it, we become “Chill a Latte”- which is kind of confusing because we can’t make cold drinks (it’s a health code thing/ another thing we had to repeatedly explain to many disappointed, sweating customers this summer).